Stop Asking "Why...?"

Whenever anything negative, confusing, or difficult happens in our lives, our brains naturally snap to the question, "WHY?" Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to my family? Why did God allow this to happen? We strain with all our resources to piece together an answer.  We want cohesion for our journey, purpose for our pain. Whether we believe in an Almighty God or not, we try to make meaning out of the events of our lives. We are humans. We are storytellers. It is just what we do.

It is what I do. So hear me, I'm right with you all. But the last time I agonized over the "WHY?" I realized just how unhelpful that question can be - for two primary reasons. 

1) We rarely get the answer. We can try to look for silver linings, order in the chaos, or beauty in the ashes... But how often is there a clear "This is why____ happened"?  In fact, I'll be so bold to say that even if we think we know the "reason why," we should be humble in our assessment. We just don't see the whole picture, and we should probably not assert that we do. Think about the ultimate sufferer: Job. When Job begs God to explain his suffering, God doesn't answer. In this case, the reader sees that there is an actual, good reason why Job is suffering, but God does not believe it will help Job to know the answer. Instead, Job is reminded of God's omnipotence and omniscience. Read Job 38-42. It's beautiful. And humbling.

2) Even if we got an answer, it would not help. If we are honest, an answer echoes empty in the chasm of our pain. No rational explanation soothes an emotional wound. Answers feel trite, cliche, and hollow... like a band-aid on a bullet wound. We think we want an answer, but that's not really what we need. When someone comes alongside us, we desire their presence and empathy. Not their answers.

So, here is my encouragement to us all. Perhaps, instead of asking "WHY?", what if we switched the question. Shifted our perspective. Instead of "Why did this happen?" What if we asked, "HOW? How could I respond to this situation? How can I grow from this situation? How could I allow this situation to shape me into a stronger, kinder, more compassionate person?" Or we could ask, "WHO? Who could support me through this situation? Who is also struggling & we could lean on each other? Who could I help one day because I went through this?" We could even ask, "WHAT? What resources do I have to help me? What beauty can I create after this situation?"

So friends, I want to encourage you... you will naturally ask "WHY?" for a season. We all do. But at some point, stop asking why. Don't get stuck in the pit of self-pity, the hamster's wheel of confusion. Don't put yourself in the seat of God and try to understand the full picture right now. Switch your question. Turn your eyes forward. Your story is not over. You are actively writing it... If you invite Him in, God is actively writing it. Trust that as you switch your question, one day it will all make sense.